Sincerity Still Wins: The Underrated Attribute in a Filtered World

We sure do have a lot of filters in this world—Instagram filters, resume filters, even personality filters—it’s tempting to play a version of ourselves that’s shinier than the truth. But let me ask you something: When’s the last time you met someone who was refreshingly, unapologetically real? The kind of person who doesn’t butter you up with flattery or sugarcoat the truth with sweet little lies?

That’s sincerity. And in today’s world, it’s more than just an old-fashioned virtue—it’s your unfair advantage in life, leadership, and love.

What Is Sincerity, Really?

Benjamin Franklin said it best in his 13 Virtues: “Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly.” In other words, sincerity is truthfulness with kindness. It’s not about being brutally honest or hiding behind the excuse of “just keeping it real.” Sincerity is about having a heart that seeks the good, speaks the truth, and avoids deception—not just to others, but to ourselves, too.

It’s about living in alignment. That’s what we talk about in my book Moral Compass: making sure the direction of your heart matches the direction of your words and actions. When those three line up, you’re living with sincerity—and it shows.

Sincerity in Today’s World of Noise

Let’s be real—sincerity is rare these days. We scroll past curated highlight reels on social media and listen to public figures speak in carefully rehearsed sound bites. But sincerity breaks through the noise. It’s magnetic. Why? Because people are starved for truth they can trust.

In your relationships, sincerity builds unshakable trust. When people know you mean what you say, and say what you mean (without hidden agendas), they can rest in your presence. You become safe. Predictable. Real. That’s the kind of person people follow, marry, and call when their world falls apart.

In leadership, sincerity separates the powerful from the performative. Employees can smell insincerity from a mile away—especially Gen Z, who are allergic to fake. If you want influence that lasts longer than a board meeting, be the leader who admits mistakes, celebrates others genuinely, and communicates with transparency.

But What About “Too Much Honesty”?

Ah yes, the classic comeback: “If I’m sincere all the time, won’t I offend people?” Let’s clear this up.

Sincerity isn’t about dropping verbal nukes on people’s feelings. It’s about speaking the truth with love. There’s a big difference between “You’re wrong and I’m going to crush you with facts,” versus, “I see it differently—can we talk about it?” One leads to defensiveness. The other? Dialogue.

Think of sincerity like seasoning food. A pinch of salt? Great. The whole shaker? You’re ruining dinner. In the same way, sincere people know how to speak the truth, when to speak it, and why it matters.

How to Practice Sincerity Without Getting Burned

If sincerity feels risky, it’s because it is. But the rewards are far greater than the potential rejection. Here’s how to live it out in a way that brings clarity and connection instead of chaos:

1. Start With Yourself
   If you’re not honest with you, you won’t be honest with anyone else. Stop pretending you’re fine if you’re exhausted. Don’t convince yourself you “shouldn’t feel this way” when you’re angry. Self-awareness is the birthplace of sincerity. Journaling, prayer, and therapy (shameless plug for my profession) can help you stay grounded in truth.

2. Watch Your Mouth (and Keyboard)
   Before you speak or type, ask: Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind? This simple filter helps keep your communication both honest and helpful. Remember, speaking sincerely doesn’t mean giving your unfiltered opinion on everyone’s outfit, parenting style, or political beliefs. Choose depth over noise.

3. Apologize Quickly, Defend Slowly
   When you mess up—and you will—be the first to own it. A sincere “I was wrong, and I’m sorry” is one of the most powerful trust-rebuilding tools we have. On the flip side, don’t be so quick to defend every word or action. Sometimes sincerity means listening instead of explaining.

4. Don’t Use Sincerity as a Weapon
   Please don’t weaponize your truth by saying, “I’m just being honest” while dragging someone’s heart through the mud. Sincerity isn’t an excuse for being rude—it’s a reason to be real and respectful.

5. Surround Yourself with Sincere People
   Want to grow in sincerity? Hang around people who call you higher. The kind of friends who tell you the truth even when it’s awkward—but always do it with your best in mind. These people are mirrors for your growth and models of emotional integrity.

Sincerity as a Life Strategy

From a psychological perspective, sincerity reduces inner conflict and increases life satisfaction. When you live congruently—when your words, values, and actions align—you spend less energy managing impressions and more energy living fully. It’s like clearing 20 browser tabs from your brain. Instant mental peace.

And for those of us trying to make an impact—whether in business, faith, or family—sincerity is your best marketing strategy. You want people to trust your brand, your message, your voice? Be sincere. People don’t follow perfection. They follow authenticity.

A Dose of Humor to Close (Almost)

Let’s be honest, sincerity can get awkward. Like the time I sincerely told my wife her new haircut was “interesting.” Let’s just say… I now understand that “interesting” is not the compliment I thought it was. Lesson learned: sincerity also includes learning new adjectives.

Final Thoughts

In today’s world of curated content and strategic communication, sincerity is a breath of fresh air. It’s not just good character—it’s good strategy. Whether you’re building a brand, raising kids, leading a team, or just trying to be a decent human, sincerity will always give you a solid foundation.

And if you’re looking for more on how virtues like sincerity shape your future, pick up a copy of my book Moral Compass. It’s your guide to navigating life with clarity, character, and purpose.

Let’s be real: the world needs more sincerity. And it starts with you.