How to Overcome Fear and Self-Doubt Around Money (Even If You Grew Up Hearing “We Can’t Afford That”)

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Let’s talk about that queasy feeling in your stomach when someone mentions budgets, investments, or the dreaded B word—bills.

If your palms sweat every time you check your bank account, or you feel an odd sense of guilt when you earn more than your parents ever did, welcome to the club. You’re not alone, and more importantly, you’re not broken. You just inherited a money mindset that was rooted in fear, not freedom.

Where Does Financial Fear Come From?

Most of our fears and self-doubt around money don’t start with us. They usually start with the voices we grew up with—our parents, grandparents, teachers, or that one well-meaning aunt who told you to “never trust rich people” while handing you off-brand cereal from a dented box.

They meant well. They really did.

But a lot of what we absorbed as kids came from a place of scarcity. Maybe you heard:

  • “Money doesn’t grow on trees.”

  • “We’re not rich people.”

  • “You have to work twice as hard to make half as much.”

  • “If you make too much money, people will think you’re greedy.”

These phrases may seem harmless on the surface, but they plant seeds—seeds of fear, guilt, and self-doubt. Over time, they grow into invisible barriers that keep us from stepping into our financial potential. Instead of seeing money as a tool, we see it as a source of stress. Instead of dreaming bigger, we shrink our goals to what feels “safe.”

The Mindset of Lack vs. the Mindset of Abundance

Here’s the truth: Most of those messages were born out of survival.

Our parents weren’t trying to sabotage us—they were trying to protect us. They came from hard times, faced financial instability, and wanted us to be realistic, grounded, and cautious. Unfortunately, their “realism” often came with a side of anxiety and a sprinkle of low expectations.

They were living in a mindset of lack, where the belief is that there’s never enough to go around.

But what if we could flip the script?

Enter the abundance mindset—the belief that opportunity is everywhere, that you can learn and grow your way into more wealth, and that money isn’t evil—it’s just a tool. A hammer can be used to build a house or break a window. It is all how you use it. Money, the tool, a resource, not a ruler. You can be a good, generous, ethical human being and have a healthy bank account. (Shocking, I know.)

How to Rewire Your Money Beliefs

Good news: Your brain is not concrete. It’s more like Play-Doh with a WiFi connection. You can rewire your money beliefs, even if you grew up counting every penny.

Here’s how to get started:

1. Identify the Money Lies You Believe

Start by writing down the negative money phrases you heard growing up. (Pro tip: This exercise may cause eye-rolls and flashbacks of Sunday coupon clipping.) Ask yourself, “Is this actually true? Or is this something I inherited?”

Most of the time, you’ll realize those beliefs were handed down—not chosen.

2. Surround Yourself with Wealth-Oriented Voices

One of the best ways to reframe your financial mindset is to expose yourself to people who think differently about money.

Read books, listen to podcasts, attend workshops, or hang around successful people who are generous, ethical, and ambitious. (Shameless plug: My book Wealth Mastery is a great starting point if you want practical, empowering strategies to grow your wealth without losing your soul.)

3. Stop Apologizing for Wanting More

Wanting more money does not make you greedy. It makes you human. Money is not just for yachts and designer handbags. It’s for security, choices, and impact.

You can want financial freedom and still be a good person. You can give back, support your community, and leave a legacy—all while enjoying the occasional overpriced latte.

4. Set Financial Goals That Excite You

Don’t just set “get out of debt” goals. Set abundance goals. Goals like:

  • “I want to earn enough to take my family on a vacation without checking the bank account.”

  • “I want to start a business that creates income and impact.”

  • “I want to be the person who writes the check when someone needs help.”

Your goals should pull you forward, not push you with guilt.

5. Laugh at the Fear (Yes, Really)

Money fears lose power when you stop treating them like serious villains in a drama and start treating them like annoying background characters in a sitcom.

“Oh look, it’s that old voice again telling me I’m going to end up broke if I invest in myself. How cute.”

Fear doesn’t like being mocked. It prefers being worshipped.

Give it a nickname (like Penny Panic or Doubting Dollar Dan) and keep moving forward.

Final Thoughts: You’re Not Your Past

The messages you grew up with may have shaped your early beliefs, but they don’t have to define your future. You can rewrite your financial story—one chapter, one belief, and one empowered decision at a time.

You are not limited by your upbringing. You are only limited by the beliefs you choose to carry into adulthood.

So take a deep breath, shake off that fear, and remind yourself:

Money isn’t scary. Scarcity thinking is.

You’ve got what it takes to break through self-doubt, ditch the fear, and create the financial life you actually want—not the one you were told to settle for.

And if you need help on the journey? Start with Wealth Mastery. (Hey, I get about $2.50 when you buy this book, so buy 10,ooo of them. Remember think abundantly. Just kidding, one will suffice). It’s not just a book—it’s your permission slip to think bigger, live bolder, and build wealth on your terms.